总有人问我是否认识泰勒·德顿PeoplealwaysaskmeifIknowTylerDurden.还剩三分钟Threeminutes.尘埃落定一切归零Thisisit.Groundzero.要不要为这伟大的时刻发表两句感言呢Wouldyouliketosayafewwordstomarktheoccasion?嘴里塞着把枪你只能嘟嘟囔囔Withagunbarrelbetweenyourteeth,youspeakonlyinvowels.我想不出要说什么Ican'tthinkofanything.有一会泰勒的控制爆破计划Forasecond,Itotallyforgetabout我已经忘得一干二净Tyler'swholecontrolleddemolitionthing,心里只琢磨着那枪到底有多脏andIwonderhowcleanthatgunis.越来越刺激了It'sgettingexcitingno俗话说人们总是伤害自己爱的人Thatoldthing,howyoualwayshurttheoneyoulove.其实也会爱上他伤害的人Well,itworksbothways.这出爆炸大戏我们坐享头排Wehavefront-rowseatsforthistheaterofmassdestruction.混沌行动的爆破组TheDemolitionsCommitteeofProjectMayhem已经在十二栋建筑的地基柱旁wrappedthefoundationscolumnsof12buildings布置了爆胶withblastinggelatin.两分钟内主引爆器将引爆所有炸弹Intwominutes,primarychargeswillblowbasecharges把好几个街区炸成断壁残垣andafewsquareblockswillbereducedtosmoulderingrubble.泰勒知道这些所以我也知道IknowthisbecauseTylerknowsthis.两分三十秒回想下我们的成就吧Twoandahalf.Thinkofeverythingwe'veaccomplished.忽然间我发现这一切AndsuddenlyIrealizethatallofthis,枪支炸药革命thegun,thebombs,therevolution,都和一个叫玛拉·辛格的女人有关hasgotsomethingtodowithagirlnamedMarlaSinger.鲍勃鲍勃有一对大奶子Bob.Bobhadbitchtits.{\pos(187.332,68.444)}一起继续做男人这是个睾丸癌患者互助会Thiswasasupportgroupformenwithtesticularcancer.这个把我抱个满怀的家伙就是鲍勃Thebigmoosieslobberingalloverme,thatwasBob.我们仍然是男人We'restillmen.没错我们是男人Yes,we'remen.如假包换的男人Meniswhatweare.鲍勃八个月前切除了睾丸并接受激素疗法EightmonthsagoBob'stesticleswereremoved.Thenhormonetherapy.他睾丸素水平过高刺激雌激素分泌Hedevelopedbitchtitsbecausehistestosteronewastoohigh,导致他长了对大奶子andhisbodyuppedtheoestrogen.使我可以...ThatwaswhereIfit...他们又要给我开刀减胸了They'regonnahavetoopenupmypecsagainanddrainthefluid.把头埋在这对带汗的巨乳中间Betweenthosehugesweatingtits如此之大不禁让你猜想上帝的也很宏伟thathungenormous,thewayyou'dthinkofGod'sasbig.好了该你哭了OK,youcryno等等倒回去让我从头说起No,wait.Backup.Letmestartearlier.整整六个月我都没法入睡Forsixmonths,Icouldn'tsleep.睡不着Icouldn'tsleep.失眠让我如坠梦境Withinsomnia,nothing'sreal.一切都飘忽遥远Everything'sfaraway.一切都是重复重复再重复Everything'sacopyofacopyofacopy.随着外太空探索的深入Whendeepspaceexplorationrampsup,所有天体都要用企业命名it'llbethecorporationsthatnameeverything.IBM星系TheIBMStellarSphere.微软银河系TheMicrosoftGalaxy.星巴克星球ThePlanetStarbucks.这周你得出趟差Gonnaneedyououtoftownalittlemorethisweek.有些要紧事处理Wegotsomesomeredflagstocover.那天一定是周二他系了蓝色矢车菊领带ItmusthavebeenTuesday.Hewaswearinghiscornflower-bluetie.你要我在你另行通知前Youwantmetodeprioritizemycurrentreports先放下手头的报告吗untilyouadviseofastatusupgrade?这些紧急这是机票折扣券Maketheseyourprimary"actionitems".Here'syourflightcoupons.有问题就打我电话Callmefromtheroadifthere'sanysnags.他精力充沛肯定又用拿铁灌肠了Hewasfullofpep.Musthavehadhisgrandelatteenema.和多数人一样我也深陷在Likesomanyothers,Ihadbecomeaslave宜家室内装潢的广告中totheIkeanestinginstinct.是的我想订购那套Yes.I'dliketoorder艾瑞卡贝卡利防尘被套theErikaPekkaridustruffles.-请稍等-只要看到设计巧妙的东西-Pleasehold.-IfIsawsomethingclever,好比有阴阳图案的小咖啡桌likealittl...