观点：影响女人事业的不是孩子而是老公（英文：slate翻译：小笨@煎蛋网）It’sNotYourKidsHoldingYourCareerBack.It’sYourHusband.观点：影响女人事业的不是孩子而是老公Almostadecadeago,thewriterLindaHirshmanexhortedambitiouswomentomarrymenwithlessmoneyorsocialcapitalthantheyhad.Insandherbook,GettoWork,shetoldwomenthattheyshouldavoidevertakingonmorethanhalfofthehouseworkorchildcare.Howtodoit?Eithermarryamanwhoisextremelycommittedtoequality,ordowhatshesaysistheeasierrouteand“marrydown.”HirshmanexplainedintheAmericanProspectthatsuchachoiceisnot“brutallystrategic,”it’sjustsmart.“Ifyouaredevotedtoyourcareergoalsandwouldlikeamanwhowillsupportthat,you'rejustdoingwhatmenthroughouttheageshavedone:placingasafebet.”大约十年前，作家LindaHirshman在她的著作《GettoWork》中就告诫过有事业心的女强人们要嫁个比自己赚钱更少的男人。她让女人们不要在家务和照顾孩子上花超过一半的时间。这就意味着，你要么嫁给一个注重平等的男人一人分担一半，要么就干脆“下嫁”给比自己弱的人让他做个煮男。Hirshman解释说，这并不是什么战略，对女强人来说只是个明智的选择而已。她说：“如果你想将精力更多地放到工作上并希望找个支持你的男人，那么你就是做着所有男人一直在做的：押一个安全的赌注”。Thiswasahighlycontroversialpieceofadviceatthetime,butHirshmanmighthavebeenright.AnewstudyofHarvardBusinessSchoolgraduatesfromHBS’sRobinElyandColleenAmmermanandHunterCollegesociologistPamelaStoneshowsthathigh-achievingwomenarenotmeetingthecareergoalstheysetforthemselvesintheir20s.It’snotbecausethey’re“optingout”oftheworkforcewhentheyhavekids,butbecausethey’reallowingtheirpartners’careerstotakeprecedenceovertheirown.当年这些言论着实为Hirshman带来了很多争议，但她真可能说对了。哈佛商学院毕业生RobinEly、ColleenAmmerman和亨特学院社会学家PamelaStone在近期做了一个研究，结果是在事业上有所成就的女性大部分都没有达到她们20多岁时给自己设定的目标。并不是因为她们有孩子之后就不再工作了，而是她们在为配偶的事业做牺牲。Thestudy’sauthorsinterviewed25,000menandwomenwhograduatedfromHarvardBusinessSchooloverthepastseveraldecades.Themalegraduatesweremuchmorelikelytobeinseniormanagementpositionsandhavemoreresponsibilityandmoredirectreportsthantheirfemalepeers.Butwhy?It’snotbecausewomenareleavingtheworkforceenmasse.Theauthorsfound,definitively,thatthe“opt-out”explanationisamyth.AmongGenXandbabyboomerstheysurveyed,only11percentofwomenlefttheworkforcetobefull-timemoms.Thatfigureislowerforwomenofcolor—only7percentstoppedworking.Thevastmajority(74percent)ofGenXers,womenwhoarecurrently32-48andintheprimeoftheirchild-rearingyears,workfulltime,anaverageof52hoursaweek.他们采访了过去几十年里从哈佛商学院毕业的25000名男女，男性毕业生大多处在高管职位，承担着更多的责任，跟同行间的女性相比也更多被媒体报道。为什么？并不是因为大批女员工离开工作岗位。研究作者发现，“退出”工作这个解释纯属扯淡。在他们调查的X一代和婴儿潮一代的人中，只有11%真正离职做起全职太太，有色人种中的女性只有7%停止工作。绝大多数(74%)现年32-48岁，正值抚养子女时期的女性都还从事全职工作，平均每周工作52小时。Butwhilethesewomenarestillworking,theyarealsomakingmoreunexpectedsacrificesthantheirmaleclassmatesare.Whentheygraduated,morethanhalfofmaleHBSgradssaidtheyexpectedtheircareerswouldtakeprecedenceovertheirpartners’.Only7percentofGenXwomenand3percentofbabyboomerwomensaidtheyexpectedtheircareerstotakeprecedence.Here’swhattheydidexpect:Themajorityofwomensaidtheyassumedtheywouldhaveegalitarianmarriagesinw...